As I was reading different articles I noticed how many people talk about “How to fix” your relationship. The idea of fixing something implies that something is broken. Relationships are in a constant change because we are also changing and after some time every relationship needs an upgrade.
Think of your home. Over time, it needs some upgrades. Also, you need to take good care of it to avoid bigger problems in the future. The same happens with your relationship. It needs good care and some upgrades to make sure it stays in good shape.
One of the major upgrades that relationships need is their communication skills. Listening is often a difficult task and requires practice. The first thing that I would like to challenge you to do is to listen to your partner without thinking of what you want to answer back. When you are thinking of your come back, you are not truly present.
Another thing I would like to challenge is your mind reading skills. Nobody is good at this but everybody seems to think they can guess what their partner is thinking. Give your partner the opportunity to express their feelings. This also will help with the next upgrade you can work on.
Connection is a tricky one. An upgrade in this area of the relationship needs some extra time and work. Send a text while you are at work to let your partner know that you are thinking of them. Write a nice email with a list of things that you love about them. Make a plan to have a date night. Date nights are a great time to connect and express affection. Dr. Gottman has some great Love Map exercises to help you connect at a deeper level with your partner and to discover more about your partner’s wishes and dreams.
These are just a few ideas of some upgrades that can help your relationship. Before you begin to think about the areas that you would like an upgrade, think of the strong and well-developed areas of your relationship. Make a list of the positive things in your relationship, which can then be the foundation for your upgrades.